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| Ive compiled some cheesy pirate jokes for your pleasure!!!! Did you hear about the new pirate movie? Its rated Arrrrgggggggggggh Why was it rated R? Because of all the pirate booty What's a pirate's favorite mode of transportation? A cAARRRRGGH! Whats a pirates second favorite type of transportation? A cutlass! Where did the pirate go on vacation? Arrrrrrrrrrrgentina! Why did he go on vacation? He needed some Arrrrrrrrrrgh and Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh what's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? arrrr what's a pirate's favorite kind of socks? arrrrgyle what is a pirates favorite study subject? arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt. what's a pirate's second-choice job? an arrrrrrchitect! This pirate walks into a bar with a big ship's wheel down his pants. The bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know you have a ship's wheel down the front of your pants?" And the pirate says... Aaargh, it's driving me nuts!! a little kid with a speech impediment dresses up as a pirate and goes trick or treating. he knocks on the door of a house and a man answers. "oh, i can see you're dressed up as a pirate." the man says. "but where are your buccaneers?" the kid gets really mad, and says "on the sides of my buckin' head!" how much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? a buccaneer what's a pirate's favorite kind of cookie? ships ahoy what do you call a pirate that skips class? captain hooky! A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!" "What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine." The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before." "Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really." "Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands." "Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really." "Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes." "Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye." "So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird shit!" "Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet." why does a pirate's phone go beep beep beep beep beep? because he left it off the hook! what does a pirate say when he takes over santa's job? ho ho ho and a bottle of rum What does a vegan pirate do in jail? Starrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrve! What has 8 arms and 8 legs? 8 Pirates! Why do pirates always carry a bar of soap? So if they are shipwrecked they can Wash themselves a shore Why couldn't the pirates play cards? The Captain was standing on the deck Did you hear about the pirate boxer? He had a killer left hook How did the pirate learn how to read? Hooked on phonics What do you call a shaking pirate ship at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck What does a blonde and a pirate have in common? A little black patch What do you get when you cross a pie with a rat? A Pie-Rat What did Captain Hook die from? Jock itch What did the pirate say when he lost his ship? "Where the Hell is my ship? Whats a pirate favorite cocktail? A Marghhhhhhhhhh arita What did the pirate rapper say? Shiver me Timberlands How did the pirate read your future? He used Parrot Cards Why did the pirate cross the seven seas? To get to the other tide What did the pirate from Chicago love the most Daaaaaaaaa - Bloons A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his head. He sits down and orders a glass of dirty rum. The bartender asks" Why do you have a paprer towel on yer head?" The pirate replies" I have a Bounty on me head" A pirate and his parrot were a drift in thier schooner after a valiant battle. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, the pirate stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a Genie came forth. This particular Genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving any thought to the matter the pirate blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into rum!" The Genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest rum ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the Genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of rum on the hull broke the stillness as the two considered their circumstances The parrot looked disgustedly at the pirate and after a tension-filled moment spoke: "Now yee've done it!! Now we're goon to have to pee in the boat!" |
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